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Acknowledging our mistakes gives us the opportunity to learn

ПовідомленняДодано: Чет, 20 січня 2022, 13:52
VivianGrire
Acknowledging our mistakes gives us the opportunity to learn from them.
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п»їConfucius said that "making a mistake and not correcting it is another mistake". Following this reasoning, is it true that we stop learning from our mistakes by denying them? In other words, is denying mistakes the first obstacle to repairing the consequences of a mistake we have made?
After all, when we say the famous phrase "it wasn't me", which in many cases implies an obvious denial of our possible responsibility, aren't we basically trying to justify a mistake? And isn't the fact of justifying it a way of not recognizing something wrong? So, at the end of the day, wouldn't we be in denial?
"I like my mistakes, I don't want to give up the delicious freedom of being wrong."
-Charles Chaplin
What happens when we deny a mistake, that is, when we do not "mea culpa" about our mistakes, we often try to put some distance between what has happened and its consequences. However, it is no less true that this same distance hinders the possibility of learning from what has happened. It thus distances the possibility of reviewing the process and identifying failures.
On the other hand, this distance can also cause us to sigh with relief at first. A relief that will turn into anxiety in the event that we have to face the same challenge again, when we pull our hair out because we have not provided sufficient means to remedy our shortcomings. For this reason, the healthiest and most enriching attitude is to observe the mistake and try to see where we have failed. What is our responsibility? Where can we improve? What can we learn?
In addition to incapacitating us for the future, giving up the task of exploring our failures, by not recognizing them, is an attitude that is an obstacle to self-knowledge. By renouncing this process, we also renounce accepting responsibility for the successes that have also occurred. In this way we ignore our most outstanding capabilities and prevent us from enhancing them.
Assuming a mistake is a fundamental part of learning. In fact, without mistakes there would be no learning. How many times have we fallen on our bicycles? Or those who play an instrument, how many times have they made mistakes while learning? Even in spite of achieving a high degree of performance in some task, we are not free from error. So, the ideal is to observe the mistake when we make it and see what we can learn from it.
Ways in which denial causes us not to learn from our mistakesAt this point, it is worth remembering a study carried out by a team of researchers from the University of California and New York. It was revealed that the fact of not assuming our own mistakes is related to our personality, and diminishes our growth potential. By not assuming the error, we do not opt to learn from it.
To reach these conclusions, they analyzed thousands of profiles. In them, they tried to identify the dominant personality types according to the reactions they adopted to mistakes. The study definitely yielded curious results. It was estimated that 70% of the population could be perfectly categorized into three large groups according to their reactions to errors:
It's someone else's faultA phrase so often used by children, the classic "it wasn't me", is still widely used by a large number of adults. That is, when they make a mistake, they decide to ignore their responsibility and attribute it to a second person.
In other words, by blaming others for their own mistakes, they are in a way denying them. In this way, not having the necessary maturity to recognize them, they do not have the maturity to improve their own qualitative inner knowledge. They tend to opt for victimist attitudes, incapable of assuming blame, and without a constructive criterion about the fact itself.
Through this attitude, the only result obtained is not learning and not developing oneself. By blaming others for our mistakes, we assume that we are perfect. Or at least, we want to make it look that way. Perhaps out of shame, perhaps out of lack of self-criticism. Many managers are incapable of recognizing a mistake and blame their employees for some business failure. In this way, not only do they fail to evolve as a boss, but they also demotivate their employees. Who hasn't experienced this at some point?
Nothing happened hereAnother group of people is included among those who do not blame others, but do not see any mistake. That is to say, no matter how much you show them in evidence, they are unable to see that they are at fault. This is, undoubtedly, an attitude that does not give room for learning and, once again, denies the mistake. If there is no error, there is nothing to learn from. Thus, we will be exposed to stumble over and over again with the same stone.
So this group of people will deny above all things having done anything wrong. They are not able to deal with guilt, because they do not see it. That is, for them, it is impossible to learn from something that does not exist, or that they are not willing to acknowledge under any circumstances.
Assuming responsibility beyond one's own responsibility
Learning from our mistakes requires admitting that we have failed, and intoning phrases such as "the responsibility was mine". Fortunately, a good part of the population is capable of recognizing that they have made a mistake and are willing to correct, repair, amend and improve.
However, we must be careful, as sometimes we find people with an attitude that is at the other extreme, taking responsibility for themselves and others. Therefore, the resources that they can get to allocate to repair are many and the punishment that they can get to impose on themselves for the errors that they attribute to themselves, being proportional to this attribution, can also be very large.
"Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes."
-Oscar Wilde
That said, to fail is human. But learning from our mistakes once made, rather than denying them, is also human. In fact, it's a great opportunity to improve and get to know ourselves better. It doesn't mean that you have to make mistakes all day long, but if the opportunity arises, don't waste it by denying the major one tooth and nail.
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